Let's see how far we've come....

It's a bittersweet day out here in California. Last night I feel proud. I felt ecstatic. I felt accomplished. This morning? I feel nothing but ashamed. I feel like I failed.

When Barack Obama is sworn in on January 20th, 2009 as the 44th President of the United States, it will mark a turning point for the country. Obama is America's redemption song. A chance to redeem what George W. Bush all but destroyed the last eight years. At the very least Obama will attempt to restore strained relationships with foreign enemies, and will strengthen those with betrayed allies. He will make it acceptable for American's to travel overseas as American's. But the essence of Obama is his willingness to listen; his readiness for change. When I listen to Obama I don't hear lies, or what I want to hear. I hear a man honest, true, and saying what he believes. Don't believe me? Just listen to his conversation with "Joe the Plummer." America needs Barack Obama after the eight years of Bush's regime.

As for Senator John McCain, he was very humble in defeat. He gave a very nice speech urging his supporters to embrace President-elect Obama, and pinned the defeat on himself and not his supporters. He spoke honest, he spoke true. He was the McCain of old, before the Bush brainwash. It's too bad that he wasn't this honest throughout the entire election, or we might be talking about President-elect McCain. His downfall though (and I truly believe this) was the appointment of Alaskan Govern er Sarah Palin who is no more fit to run a Starbucks than I, let alone a country.

The 2008 election will go down in history, much like the election of 1968. A female vice REPUBLICAN presidential candidate ran head to head with an African American presidential candidate who defeated a woman to take the Democratic nod. Never did I think that in my lifetime we would see a black president. Or a minority president for that matter. Hell, this country wasn't ready to hand a Catholic the job in 2004. Barack Obama has his work cut out for him, as no President-elect has had so much pressure, so high of expectations placed on him, but right now it's astonishing and amazing to sit back and realize that a black man who deserves the Office of President, who we as a struggling country needs him, realized his dream. It's nice to see how far we've come.

And yet, as far as we came yesterday, we haven't come far enough. Proposition 8 in California, which would place a constitutional ban on same sex marriage, passed by a 5% margin. As much as we campaigned, stickered, and blogged we couldn't change the mind of narrow minded individuals who felt it's fine to discriminate against those who are different, or who they don't understand. Everybody is entitled to their own personal beliefs, their own personal opinions, and that's fine. But when those opinions and beliefs discriminate, then I have a problem. Those who voted Yes on Prop 8, who stood out on street corners parading, those who placed yellow signs on their car windows or in their front lawns had the right to do so. The United States Constitution allows them the right to. However they took away the right of those they were campaigning against. This is no victory for anybody. Those afraid of homosexuals are doing just what we as society previously did to African-Americans, previously did to women. Not giving them the same equal rights that everybody deserves. And while this might be a slight digression from the point, the Bible and the Constitution don't mix. Those likening what the Bible says about homosexuality to Constitutional Amendments need to read their actual Bill of Rights. They should also probably read their entire Bibles and realize that Jesus Christ wouldn't have banned those who sinned, wouldn't have taken away their civil liberties, but rather wouldn't have passed judgement and would have taken them in as his own. But again, I digress.

Last night was a perfect example of how this country as a whole was capable of taking a giant step forward. Today, at least in California, we took two giant steps back.

Modern Day Romance?

Every night before I close my eyes I like to think about where I was a month ago. I like to think about where I was that night before the Angels loss to the New York Yankees that Tuesday. I like to think how lost I was; how alone I was. I like to think about how empty I was. It's the only way I can truely put this into perspective. It's the only way I can absolutely realize how surreal this all is.

I don't think I can put into words where I'm at right now as opposed to where I was. I was so lost, so confused, so bitter. I was a misanthropic anthropoid with nothing to say. I was frustrated and angry.

And then she came along, like a savior. Like an angel. Suddenly I felt my heart start to pump and the blood begin to run through my veins. My how I had missed that feeling. She made me listen. She made me interested. She re-lit the fire deep inside me. The fire that fuels the passion; that fuels the rebellion. The fire that fuels the interest, and scares off the apathetic tendencies. She made me feel.

She kept me on my toes in the days to come. She had me making excuses during the day while dreaming of the possibilities at night. Finally after one too many drinks I made my move, and never looked back.

I remember that first date like it was just hours ago. I remember the black shirt under the grey cardigan. I remember the blue jeans, and the reddish-brown hair styled down just passed the shoulders and ending just before the small of her back. I remember walking up to BJ's and hoping against hope this would not be awkward. I was praying I could keep the nerves down. I remember making eye contact with her for the first time since we met, and my heart melting. I remember trying not to watch the Packer/Cowboy game that was on directly behind her while she ate her salad and I ate my pasta. I remember talking, about anything and everything, and having a blast. I remember suggesting the movies because I didn't want the night to end. I remember during the movie wondering if I should make my move, wanting to so badly, but not wanting to scare her off. I remember my leg brushing against hers, and feeling goosebumps. I remember after the movies, in front of her car again talking about anything and everything. I remember talking about the Little Mermaid one minute, and feeling her lips the next. I remember being hesitant at first. I remember the slightest autumn breeze blowing by against the warm summer night, as the last minutes of summer were giving way to fall. I remember never feeling this excited, this relieved.

That's what I see when my eyes shut. It's like closing the book on what seems like a long and distant chapter of my life. Now it's filled with beauty; with happiness. It's filled romantical tales of love and (gulp) fairy tale endings. Such a departure; a spin from where I was.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I know I'm in love with Catherine Szilagyi.

Lessons Learned

Today was rough. I woke up thinking that maybe the heartache and disappointment of yet another Angels October demise would subside, but it didn't. It still lingered. I didn't want to get out of bed, and if it weren't for a couple assignments that needed to be turned in, I probably wouldn't have.


I was still at a loss for words. How exactly did a team that won 100 games in the regular season suddenly forget to play? Was it the pressure? Was it the Red Sox? I don't know. I tried not to dwell on it, but walking around my campus didn't help. It seems the majority of the Orange County chapter of Red Sox Nation attends Cal State Fullerton too, so all day I walked past smug assholes in green Red Sox hats and Papelbon jerseys. It took every ounce of strength to not say something.

After game one, Catherine met me somewhere to cheer me up. After game two (the single worst game I have ever attended) I met Catherine at a bar in downtown Fullerton so she could cheer me up. And she was also part of maybe the single greatest date I had ever been on in my life on Saturday. Today, after game four, she made sure that I was okay by calling and texting, and putting up with my shit. Today was one of those asshole days. You know, where no matter what you're just an asshole. I (lovingly I might add) razzed her for her love of Lord of the Rings, and every other dorky tendency she has. She rolled with it, and came over later on in the night. This is why she deserves the Nobel Prize in the field of "Kick Ass Girlfriend."

The moral of the blog? Sports are a nice distraction, but at the end of the day, it's just a game. The girlfriend can serve as a distraction, but at the end of the day she's what matters. Maybe I'm finally growing up?

Ps... this does not in any way excuse the poor situational hitting or Howie Kendrick's performance in the ALDS.

Insert title here...

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I'm playing FIFA 07 on my X-Box (not 360) and listening to Matt Pryor. It's safe to say I'm pretty bored. It's kind of nice though to relax and not have to worry about school or work or anything else. I just wish I had better games for the once a month itch I get to play video games.

So I'm not a card carrying member of the singles club anymore. No sir, I sold out. But, I might add, with just cause. See I met this girl named Catherine about three weeks back. Yeah, yeah I know it's too soon yada yada yada. I feel you. But sometimes you've just got to throw conventional wisdom out the window. I mean, if I feel a connection to this girl, then what's the big deal. But anyways, seriously she's amazing. We have the most awesome conversations, and just the best times I could possibly ask for. Yeah, she's beautiful, but it's her mind I'm crazy about. It's safe to say that I'm pretty taken right now. I'm real excited to see where this is going.


So the Angels open their playoffs tomorrow with the Boston Redsox. I'm giddy. Boston is going to be no easy task, as Angel fans are well aware of. You know, there are a lot of people talking about the eight in a row we took from Boston this season, but all I remember is the eight in a row they currently have taken from us in the postseason. It should be a lot of fun. I'll be at the game Friday...I'm pretty excited.

I planned on writing about the bailout and other political nonsense, but I'm pretty hooked on this FIFA game... so maybe tomorrow...

Peace

Forgot about Dre

So last night was way more entertaining then I had anticipated. I think this had a lot to do with Nicole and Christopher being there, but it was also (dare I say) nice to see some old friends. It was also nice to see Sean. I had a chance to talk to him and clear the air about some bullshit. I miss my best friend.

Anyways, its interesting that I get along with Christopher and Nicole as well I do. They both are fundamentally different than I am (well more so Nicole than Chris) but that doesn't stop us from having a great time. Nicole was getting a kick out of my musical selections, namely cheesy 90's hip hop that I could recite verbatim. I even drank a beer with Chris, and I don't even really like beer.

But I will admit this. The best part of my night was for the ten minutes I got to talk to Cat. I really do enjoy talking to her. I pretty much enjoy everything about her, to be honest. Ugh... that scares me.

No NFL picks this week. Sorry, my mind is set on the MLB Playoffs. So next week I'll unveil a new NFL format. You'll see.

I'm off to my cousin's sixteenth birthday party.

Everything's Magic

So I have an hour until I need to get ready for work. This blog won't take an hour, but I do feel like I need to get some shit off my chest.

I'm at ease. I've found peace of mind. It's a wonderful, mind-numbing, frightening feeling. Last night was the pinnacle of amazing. I've taken a liking to this girl. She challenges me. She makes me think. It's pretty... uh... well it's pretty haha. I'm not good with all this feeling, wishy-washy, lovey-dovey stuff. I don't know really how to express myself. All I know is that I haven't stopped smiling today, and I could definately get used to this.

I haven't stopped listening to "The '59 Sound" since I got it. It's been two months and I still listen to the ENTIRE album (not just a song or two) every day. I listen to it on the way to school, walking around school, on the way home from school, on the way to work, at work, on the way home from work, in my room... pretty much anywhere. Brian Fallon you son of a bitch. I want my life back! But seriously, its downright amazing. Thats all I can say.

NFL picks will come in later tonight/tomorrow....

I'll end today's blog with lyrics from Smoke or Fire...

"So show me, give me half a chance to be for you the person that I buried deep inside. For once I'd rather live than die, and sympathize with anyone who doesn't find the kind of second chance I did."

blue jeans and white T-shirts

I would just like to take the opportunity to thank George Clooney for the most ridiculously amazing night I could have possibly asked for. That's all for now... =)

Gosh, I feel like I'm fuckin 16 again. And to be honest, I love it...