Let's see how far we've come....

It's a bittersweet day out here in California. Last night I feel proud. I felt ecstatic. I felt accomplished. This morning? I feel nothing but ashamed. I feel like I failed.

When Barack Obama is sworn in on January 20th, 2009 as the 44th President of the United States, it will mark a turning point for the country. Obama is America's redemption song. A chance to redeem what George W. Bush all but destroyed the last eight years. At the very least Obama will attempt to restore strained relationships with foreign enemies, and will strengthen those with betrayed allies. He will make it acceptable for American's to travel overseas as American's. But the essence of Obama is his willingness to listen; his readiness for change. When I listen to Obama I don't hear lies, or what I want to hear. I hear a man honest, true, and saying what he believes. Don't believe me? Just listen to his conversation with "Joe the Plummer." America needs Barack Obama after the eight years of Bush's regime.

As for Senator John McCain, he was very humble in defeat. He gave a very nice speech urging his supporters to embrace President-elect Obama, and pinned the defeat on himself and not his supporters. He spoke honest, he spoke true. He was the McCain of old, before the Bush brainwash. It's too bad that he wasn't this honest throughout the entire election, or we might be talking about President-elect McCain. His downfall though (and I truly believe this) was the appointment of Alaskan Govern er Sarah Palin who is no more fit to run a Starbucks than I, let alone a country.

The 2008 election will go down in history, much like the election of 1968. A female vice REPUBLICAN presidential candidate ran head to head with an African American presidential candidate who defeated a woman to take the Democratic nod. Never did I think that in my lifetime we would see a black president. Or a minority president for that matter. Hell, this country wasn't ready to hand a Catholic the job in 2004. Barack Obama has his work cut out for him, as no President-elect has had so much pressure, so high of expectations placed on him, but right now it's astonishing and amazing to sit back and realize that a black man who deserves the Office of President, who we as a struggling country needs him, realized his dream. It's nice to see how far we've come.

And yet, as far as we came yesterday, we haven't come far enough. Proposition 8 in California, which would place a constitutional ban on same sex marriage, passed by a 5% margin. As much as we campaigned, stickered, and blogged we couldn't change the mind of narrow minded individuals who felt it's fine to discriminate against those who are different, or who they don't understand. Everybody is entitled to their own personal beliefs, their own personal opinions, and that's fine. But when those opinions and beliefs discriminate, then I have a problem. Those who voted Yes on Prop 8, who stood out on street corners parading, those who placed yellow signs on their car windows or in their front lawns had the right to do so. The United States Constitution allows them the right to. However they took away the right of those they were campaigning against. This is no victory for anybody. Those afraid of homosexuals are doing just what we as society previously did to African-Americans, previously did to women. Not giving them the same equal rights that everybody deserves. And while this might be a slight digression from the point, the Bible and the Constitution don't mix. Those likening what the Bible says about homosexuality to Constitutional Amendments need to read their actual Bill of Rights. They should also probably read their entire Bibles and realize that Jesus Christ wouldn't have banned those who sinned, wouldn't have taken away their civil liberties, but rather wouldn't have passed judgement and would have taken them in as his own. But again, I digress.

Last night was a perfect example of how this country as a whole was capable of taking a giant step forward. Today, at least in California, we took two giant steps back.

Are you ready for some (fantasy) football?

After two weeks of bullshit losses (one by one point to Scott Oliverio, and another because I forgot to set my line up and had Randy Moss on the bench) my fantasy team is back up to .500. Even more impressive, they took down Jason's team, the number one team in the league. It took a huge effort from Drew Brees (my fantasy MVP,) Thomas Jones and Marvin Harrison, but I took a 109-102 win from a team averaging just about 130 points a game. I'm also just one game out of first now. Sigh, if only my underachieving wide receiver crew (Santonio Holmes, Randy Moss, Marvin Harrison and Issac Bruce) could step up and do something.

It's times like these that I feel I have no social life what-so-ever.

So for my journalism class (forgive me, I'm bad with "class number" or "official titles" so it's just my journalism class for now) I had to attend a Fullerton city function, which is all well and good but I don't live in Fullerton. So I took Catherine and headed off to a Parks and Recreation Commission council meeting. Let me tell you, it was about as fun and exciting as it sounded. Hearing people discuss naming rights on some building at some community center I'm not familiar with or the size of plaques on memorial tree's I didn't know existed made me wonder "is this where my tax dollars are going?" Then I realized that I don't live in Fullerton, nor do I have (serious) political aspirations, and I let it go. Plus, I was freezing cold and wasn't in the mood to bitch, like I am now.

I think I'm getting sick. It sucks. I hate getting sick, because I won't go to the doctors unless I absolutely have to, and I'm extremely forgetful when it comes to taking medication regularly. So I suffer until my entire body shuts down. Plus I work and go to school full time, and I hate calling in sick to work and usually that's not an option anyways. And they wonder why I ask if I can use my sick pay for vacation time. Catherine, in the meantime, is playing nurse, making me eat spicy foods, drink orange juice, and get lots of rest. Last night I took her advice and ordered a fajita from Chili's. I ate about a third of it before my stomach started acting up. The fajita is currently sitting in the back of my car, and the mentioning of food makes my stomach turn. But that's a completely different illness altogether. Ugh, I'm dying.

I'm not going to sit here and get preachy (despite the fact that I have the tendency to) but I do feel I need to say something here about Proposition 8. For those of you who don't know what it is, proposition 8 is trying to define marriage in the California state constitution as marriage between a man and a woman. I just don't understand this? Why is same-sex marriage so threatening to the American public? There are far worse things in this world than a same sex couple. How about the video games your children play. You fear they'll grow up "gay" if they see same-sex couples, but aren't afraid they'll turn into Dexter if they play Grand Theft Auto? Give me a break. And who are the government to tell us who we can and can't marry? Homophobia needs to stop people. Vote NO on proposition 8.



I need to get ready for school.

38 Bitches

I'm not a professional baseball player. I've just been watching baseball since I was, well, old enough to watch television. As a child baseball was my life. I had baseball curtains, baseball sheets, baseball everything. My room was covered in Angels memorablia. Hell, to this day it still is.

After game four of the American League Divisional Series between the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and the Boston Red Sox, after the Angels were eliminated, an ESPN reporter asked John Lackey about how he felt about being eliminated yet again by the Bo Sox. He said "It's way different than last year, we are way better than they are. We lost to a team not as good as us." Curt Schilling responded to Lackey on his blog by saying "I disagree with (Lackey's) comments. The better team ALWAYS wins in October. Like it or not the better team wins, always. I don’t care what your regular season record is, it means zero other than to determine where we are playing." I have to disagree with Mr. Schilling.

In 2007 the Angels were clearly undermatched by the Red Sox. Boston was just better all the way around. Josh Beckett, Manny and Papi, Papelbon, it was just a nightmare series for the Angels who, even if they were healthy, were still far behind Boston. They were the best team in baseball that year, and there was no doubt about it. I bring this up to clear any thoughts of being biased.

This year, however, the Angels were the better team. They added Torii Hunter, Mark Teixeira, and John Garland. Ervin Santana and Joe Saunders came into their own. They won 100 games for the first time in franchise history. It was their year for the taking.

And I'm not saying that Boston was a bad team. On the contrary. I believed these were the two best teams in baseball facing off in the first round of the divisional series. Both Dustin Pedroia and Kevin Youkolis are MVP canidates. J.D Drew had a monster 2008 after a disappointing 2007, and Jacoby Ellisbury gave Boston what they've been missing since Johnny Damon left. Jon Lester became a viable ace, Diasuke Matsuzaka (albiet overrated) had a great Cy Young caliber season, and Papelbon was dominant as ever. I just thought this year belonged to to the Angels.

But it didn't happen. Howie Kendrick and Erick Aybar crumbled under the pressure, and the Angels bats went cold when they needed a big hit. 43 men left on base? Worse, Mike Scioscia made bad decision after bad decision (beginning with giving Gary Matthews Jr. the start in game one, and culminating with the suicide squeeze in the ninth inning in game four) while Terry Francona looked brilliant. Lester, as I stated to anyone who would listen to me, pitched brilliant, a-la Josh Beckett in 2007, and that was that. But it wasn't like 2007 where the Red Sox dominated. Each game could have gone either way. Vlad Guerrero doesn't get thrown out trying to go first to third, the Angels could win game one. Frankie Rodriguez doesn't serve Drew with an 88 mile an hour change up, the Angels could have carried the momentum into the bottom half of the ninth. Hell, if Boston comes through with the bases loaded in the ninth in game 3, we're not even talking about game four. But the bottom line is I don't feel the better team one. I feel the Angels beat themselves, and the Red Sox took advantage of the plethora of Angel mistakes.

The comments John Lackey made were made right after the Angels had been eliminated. I'm sure he was angry, as he was visibly angry in both his starts, even dropping the f-bomb on national television in game one. I heard afterwards that the commentators were stating that Lackey was showing up his infielders during game four. I don't blame the guy. He pitched his heart out, and he pitched extremely effective (saying he was outpitched by Lester, as Schilling put it, is like saying that you finished second to Michael Phelps in the 400 meter event at the Olympics.) He made two bad pitches the entire series, one to Jason Bay that ended up in the bleachers, and another to Dustin Pedroia that came after Kendrick botched a potential double play ball. (SIDENOTE: if Kendrick does field the ball cleanly, than we aren't talking about the second run scoring because he at least takes care of the lead runner.) It was not Lackey's fault the Angel's lost this series. But he was asked right after the game. What do you expect him to say? "Oh, it's okay?" "We were beat by a better team?" No. The guy had just pitched seven strong innings for the second time in the series only to see his team give him a combined one run of support while he was on the mound. And it wasn't that Lester was THAT dominant (although he was close) it was that the Angels could not capitalize when they needed to. And part of that was Lester's dominance, and part of that was (I believe) the we can't beat the Red Sox mentality the Angels were carrying.

For what it's worth, Schilling had nothing but nice things to say about Lackey, even refering to him as a "nice guy" and a "damn good pitcher." For what it's also worth, Curt is an abraisive, pompous, know-it-all crybaby who has made comments similar to what Lackey said plenty of times. He even acknowledges it in his blog. I don't think he's wrong for what he wrote, that the Angels weren't the better team, I just think he's misinformed and a bit biased. Of course he's going to say the Red Sox, the team that employs him, are the better team. And if the Angels took the season series, wouldn't that, by Schilling's logic, make them the better team? Curt is just fueling the fire that Lackey's comments created.

Final thoughts: Maybe John shouldn't have said what he said, but Schilling needs to keep his mouth shut and focus on rehabbing, not creating media stories. Also, the best team doesn't always come out on top (as was the case in 2003, for example, when the Yankees lost to an upstart Marlins team, or in 2006 when the barely .500 Cardinals beat the Tigers.)

Would you like another BIG ASS FRY

So no posts lately; its time to play catch-up.

So I think I'm finally over the Angels early playoff exit. It still doesn't sit well with me, but what's done is what's done. They had a great regular season, the best in franchise history, but beat themselves against Boston. I would just like to re-iterate that statement: The Angels beat themselves. And that's what disappointing about the exit. Well that and the fact that 1.) it was at the hands of the Boston Redsox and 2.) The Dodgers are currently playing in the NLCS. However that doesn't look like it's going to last long. Oh well, next year when Manny Ramirez is playing LF/DH for the New York Yankees we'll see how many people give a shit about the boys in blue.

Here, without further ado, are my five moves the Angels need to make in the offseason:

1.) Re-sign Mark Teixeira : Just show him the money, plain and simple. I shouldn't even need to explain this.

2.) Let K-Rod walk: He want's $15 milliion to CLOSE a baseball game, something that he did a record 62 times this past season. That stat is so misleading for the fact that out of the 62 times he did save a game, only like 18 were done 1-2-3. He's not worth $15 mil and you have Shields, Arredondo and Escobar who can close. Let him walk and take that money to re-sign Tex.

3.) Re-sign Juan Rivera : Juan is wasted on the bench, as he should be an every day starter. If you let him leave, he's going to put up the numbers he did in '06 when you allowed him to play full time. Gary Matthews is NOT an every day starting outfielder in the majors. Sign Garrett Anderson if you must, but don't underestimate Juan Rivera. By the way, that Jose Guillen for Maicer Izturis and Juan Rivera has shaped up to be a steal for the Angels.

4.) Lock up Vlad Guerrero and John Lackey: Vlad puts fans in the seats, and still had a good (if unbalanced) season. Lackey is a bonefied ace. He has the swaggar and the fire a-la Roy Halladay. Don't let him walk.

5.) Figure out what you're doing with farmhands : Kendry Morales, Brandon Wood, Nick Aidenhart, Nick Green, Sean Rodriguez, Bobby Wilson the list continues. If you're not going to use them then move them. Wood, Green, and Aidenhart are valuable chips. If you need to re-load than use them.

I think, though, the reason it doesn't sting as much is because of Catherine. She's probably also the reason why posts have been few and far-between. She's amazing. Every day with her ges better and better. Thursday night she cooked me dinner (which was delicious) and we just relaxed and watched Idiocracy (which I reccomend.) Yesterday was the first day since last Tuesdsay (not this last Tuesday, but the Tuesday before) that I didn't see her. Look, I'm a pretty independant person. I don't like people in general. I like my time to myself. With her though, I want to see her every day. It sucks when I don't. She makes me feel safe, and gives me a purpose. She has me acting like one of the boys in the couples that makes me sick. Seriously, we're the cheesiest couple on the planet; the kind that usually makes me vomit. And I love it. If that ain't love then I don't know what love is.

anyway I have things to do before work. Peace

Lessons Learned

Today was rough. I woke up thinking that maybe the heartache and disappointment of yet another Angels October demise would subside, but it didn't. It still lingered. I didn't want to get out of bed, and if it weren't for a couple assignments that needed to be turned in, I probably wouldn't have.


I was still at a loss for words. How exactly did a team that won 100 games in the regular season suddenly forget to play? Was it the pressure? Was it the Red Sox? I don't know. I tried not to dwell on it, but walking around my campus didn't help. It seems the majority of the Orange County chapter of Red Sox Nation attends Cal State Fullerton too, so all day I walked past smug assholes in green Red Sox hats and Papelbon jerseys. It took every ounce of strength to not say something.

After game one, Catherine met me somewhere to cheer me up. After game two (the single worst game I have ever attended) I met Catherine at a bar in downtown Fullerton so she could cheer me up. And she was also part of maybe the single greatest date I had ever been on in my life on Saturday. Today, after game four, she made sure that I was okay by calling and texting, and putting up with my shit. Today was one of those asshole days. You know, where no matter what you're just an asshole. I (lovingly I might add) razzed her for her love of Lord of the Rings, and every other dorky tendency she has. She rolled with it, and came over later on in the night. This is why she deserves the Nobel Prize in the field of "Kick Ass Girlfriend."

The moral of the blog? Sports are a nice distraction, but at the end of the day, it's just a game. The girlfriend can serve as a distraction, but at the end of the day she's what matters. Maybe I'm finally growing up?

Ps... this does not in any way excuse the poor situational hitting or Howie Kendrick's performance in the ALDS.

Great Expectations

It was susposed to be a different story, only it ended the same way.

I was sure the momentum was in the hands of the Angels. After pinch hitter Kendry Morales doubled off the big monster in left and Howie Kendrick sacrificed him over in the ninth. After Scot Shields came in and mowed down the heart of the Red Sox lineup in the bottom of the eighth. After Torii Hunter plated Vladimir Guerrero and Mark Teixeira who both worked walks in the top half of the inning.

But it wasn't meant to be. Erick Aybar missed the suicide squeeze and pinch runner Erick Aybar was tagged out. Five batters later the game was over. Jason Bay touched home plate and Jed Lowrie became a Beantown hero. Shields stared in disbelief.

It was a microcasum of what went wrong in the series. The Angels had their chances, they just couldn't come through.

They had their ace John Lackey on the mound, who pitched brilliant in game one, but left Anaheim with a loss. Again he was victimized by a two run inning, but this time thanks to a botched double play attempt and a double that, in his words, would have been a fly ball out anywhere else in America. Again he gave the Angels 7 innings of 2 run baseball, keeping them close.

Unfortunately, again, the offense didn't come through.

I had a lot more to write, but right now I just can't find the heart to do so.

so sick, so sick of being tired, and oh-so-tired of being sick

I'm a mess. My stomach has acted up all day. I blame it on the Sobe Adrenaline I drank right before my Mass Media Ethics class. I'm sleep deprived. I spent six hours on the phone last night, which is something unheard of. I'm not complaining about the conversation, I'm complaining about the lack of sleep I've been getting. I'm stressed. I'm taking school much more serious than I have previously. I want out. I want to be done. I want to move on and get on with the next part of my life. I'm tired of my boring job. I'm tired of being expected to do more because I'm the only male under 30. I'm not happy that I'm not paid more than I am. I'm all for equality, but equality means just that. I'm not expecting women to do the jobs I do, but I do expect to be compensated the way I should be compensated. It won't happen. If it weren't for health benefits I'd probably quit. I'm tired of Randy Moss ruining my fantasy team. I know Tom Brady is out, but he needs to prove that it was him, and not Tom, that made last year's Patriots so dominant. Two fantasy points are not going to cut it. I'm sick of the same three song's I've been listening to the last three weeks. I'm sick of Sarah Palin's face.

Final Summation:
I'm sick of being sick. I'm tired of being tired. I'm sick of ranting. It gets me nowhere. It doesn't comfort me. It doesn't calm me. It infuriates me more. Ugh...

At least I have a couple things going for me.

it's so much less confusing when lines are drawn like that....

Another day where I come home and pass out. Chris woke me up. We're heading out tonight, not too sure where we're going. I'm not too worried about that.

I woke up today feeling like shit; tired; and with no real desire or motivation to get out of bed. But I had school, and a couple papers due so I dragged my lazy ass to the shower and sucked it up. It's strange, everyone's so afraid of drunk drivers but nobody seems to care that every morning a half-awake Matt drives 40 miles to school.The only reason I stay awake is because I play my music at extremely high volumes and chat away on my cell phone. I showed up for my first class today, Public Policy Making, and actually spoke in class. I think it caught the teacher off guard a bit. Normally I sit in the back of the back of the room, mind my own business and draw.

In between classes I noticed that in one of the quad area's there was a religious deomonstration. Some old man who looked a lot like Santa Claus was ranting and raving about how Jesus died for our sins, and everybody is guilty of sin and pornorgraphy and promiscuous sex is evil. I'm sure Jesus really cares whether or not I'm having sex with someone I'm emotionally involved with, and if I'm getting off watching women take their clothes off on my computer. He has nothing better to do with his time then to monitor such things. This is yet another reason why I distance myself from religion.

Again my stomach is hurting. I really don't know what's up. Maybe I am... nah.. couldn't be.

I should really take a shower...

This is Unusual...

Today was another day in which I thanked my parents for raising me with morals, values, and proper etiquette. For not being gun toting, bud drinking, flag waiving, cross bearing, crackhead redneck Chuch going fundamentalist Christians. Family after family after family came in for ice cream, all void of intellectual thought and reasoning. Kids ran wild while Mom (who was either fifty pounds over or under weight) screamed at them to order their one scoop of ice cream. Dad on the other hand (complete with hillbilly facial hair and at least one article of clothing branded by an alcohol brewing company) was nowhere to be found until it was time to pay, which was normally ten minutes after they started ordering, cause their five kids took five minutes to decide what they wanted, and two more changing their minds after their order. It's day's like these that I'm thankful my Mom did not smoke crack while she was pregnant.
I don't understand the whole Rockband/Guitar Hero obsession this country has. For that matter, I don't understand the whole video game obsession . I have a Nintendo Wii, but I don't think I've played it in a good three weeks, and before that I was only playing it for Mario Kart. But with Guitar Hero and Rockband, I don't understand the point? I will admit, I've had a good time playing Rockband while singing The Clash, but that was due to a lot of vodka in my system. But why not just pick up an actual guitar? Then you're not bound to the same 50 shitty songs that appear in both games. I guess it's just easier hitting buttons then strumming actual strings? Whatever, thanks to games like Rockband and Guitar Hero and Madden and whatnot kids play virtual guitar and virtual football instead of, you know, play actual guitar and actual football. At least most kids aren't playing actual Grand Theft Auto.
I'm falling in love with Stacy Clark. I have no clue what she looks like, but I absolutely love her voice. Sure, I only know one song, but I can't stop listening to it. It kind of sums up my mindset right now.
Watched the Angels lose again in Oakland, this time due to shitty defense. I don't know, all of a sudden I'm just not as comfortable as I was a week ago. I did however get a ticket to game two of the their divisional series. I'm hoping it's against Boston. I really, really despise Boston.
For the past month I've been a ball of nerves. It's not fun, and I can't explain it. My stomach hasn't felt right in a while, it constantly hurts. Sometimes it's hard to sleep. I'm not sure what that really means? Is it connected to nerves? Or should I go to the doctor? I don't know
I have a paper to write on an article in the Press Enterprise about California's growing budget problem. I should probably start that now.