Modern Day Romance?

Every night before I close my eyes I like to think about where I was a month ago. I like to think about where I was that night before the Angels loss to the New York Yankees that Tuesday. I like to think how lost I was; how alone I was. I like to think about how empty I was. It's the only way I can truely put this into perspective. It's the only way I can absolutely realize how surreal this all is.

I don't think I can put into words where I'm at right now as opposed to where I was. I was so lost, so confused, so bitter. I was a misanthropic anthropoid with nothing to say. I was frustrated and angry.

And then she came along, like a savior. Like an angel. Suddenly I felt my heart start to pump and the blood begin to run through my veins. My how I had missed that feeling. She made me listen. She made me interested. She re-lit the fire deep inside me. The fire that fuels the passion; that fuels the rebellion. The fire that fuels the interest, and scares off the apathetic tendencies. She made me feel.

She kept me on my toes in the days to come. She had me making excuses during the day while dreaming of the possibilities at night. Finally after one too many drinks I made my move, and never looked back.

I remember that first date like it was just hours ago. I remember the black shirt under the grey cardigan. I remember the blue jeans, and the reddish-brown hair styled down just passed the shoulders and ending just before the small of her back. I remember walking up to BJ's and hoping against hope this would not be awkward. I was praying I could keep the nerves down. I remember making eye contact with her for the first time since we met, and my heart melting. I remember trying not to watch the Packer/Cowboy game that was on directly behind her while she ate her salad and I ate my pasta. I remember talking, about anything and everything, and having a blast. I remember suggesting the movies because I didn't want the night to end. I remember during the movie wondering if I should make my move, wanting to so badly, but not wanting to scare her off. I remember my leg brushing against hers, and feeling goosebumps. I remember after the movies, in front of her car again talking about anything and everything. I remember talking about the Little Mermaid one minute, and feeling her lips the next. I remember being hesitant at first. I remember the slightest autumn breeze blowing by against the warm summer night, as the last minutes of summer were giving way to fall. I remember never feeling this excited, this relieved.

That's what I see when my eyes shut. It's like closing the book on what seems like a long and distant chapter of my life. Now it's filled with beauty; with happiness. It's filled romantical tales of love and (gulp) fairy tale endings. Such a departure; a spin from where I was.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I know I'm in love with Catherine Szilagyi.